I was overdosing on the Macy's Day Parade and turned to Spike TV's Chowdown. First, there was a cranberry sauce eating contest. I'll never look at cranberry sauce again the same way. That is, if I am able to look at it again. A 105-pound woman -- Juliet Lee -- beat all the rest, consuming more than thirteen pounds. Eh. After the competition, when asked how she felt, Juliet responded, "Like I'm pregnant again." Well said, Juliet. A turkey eating round followed that. What better way to celebrate our Pilgrims than stuffing ourselves with food? Let the amateur eating begin.